I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
