Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize