i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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