we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Enjoy the penises
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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