Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
