It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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