Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
