i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
