hotel room ftw
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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