Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
