another moral hangover. fuck.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
