maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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