so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
