Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
They have beer where we have blood.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
