kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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