her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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