Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize