Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
