Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
