hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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