It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
