My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
