she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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