We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize