Will you blow on my dice?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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