3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
