and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
