Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
