so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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