Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
