I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
