It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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