GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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