i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize