ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize