so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
