his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guiltš
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Pinterest knows Iām getting divorced
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I get sad thinking about all the sex Iām missing out on because of the virus
I instituted āquarantine and chillā months ago. Itās not like penises go soft just because theyāre working at home.
Randomize
