I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
