I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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