I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
