wrigley field is MILF paradise
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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