It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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