would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
