So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
