Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
