Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
