On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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