No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
