i think my mom watched the whole time
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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