we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
