At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
