why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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