I wanna passion pit in your ass
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
