come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
