so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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